June 10, 2021
Navigating Back to School Stress: A Chat with Cathedral Home
Article Contributors, Zoom Interview:
Michele Caputo, M.Ed., LPC, Clinical Services Manager, Cathedral Home
Amanda Tracy, Outpatient Counselor, Cathedral Home
It’s here: the rattle of school buses, busy new schedules, and the homework hustle. School is in session – and it’s no secret these days – this can be a challenging time. With the excitement of new experiences and the fun of new friends can come the bugaboos of stress, anxiety, or nervous energy for children (and their families!).
Understanding our stressors, learning where they come from and how we can manage them, can do a lot to help us navigate the kerfuffle of a new school year. And, we don’t have to do it all alone. There are amazing organizations all across Wyoming, like Cathedral Home in Laramie, that have insight into our back to school stress. They have the time and resources to help us understand our challenges, and where they came from.
Michele Caputo: “I think one of the phenomenons that we see a lot with social media is that kids are pretty perceptive of how people feel about going back to school… I also think a lot of kids have anxiety [about it].... The idea of back to school shopping and anyone who's on social media can see these teenage boys and girls now posting blogs about their hauls and the stuff their parents buy them. And that could be really stressful for what I would say are the majority of the kids that don't have that kind of financial freedom, to just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.
It's stressful for parents too. They're trying to figure out how to help prepare their kids to go back to school. And, they're looking at their peers and their peers’ kids, and comparing… I mentioned social media a couple times now, but you know, in this age where we're all able to see everyone's lives online – that pressure and anxiety becomes even more heightened.
It is an evaluation time period for a lot of kids that first couple of weeks or month back to school, especially. And so I do think it creates a lot of pressure… Nowadays, [kids’] grades are automatically available 24 hours a day. Parents can check on them… much more frequently than they could when I was growing up – my parents didn't know how my grades were until they had my report card, unless they were really bad!
But right now, this instant information about how your child is being evaluated daily is popping up for parents to see, and I think a lot of times our language with our kids really can create a lot more stress and anxiety for them. And just even having access to your grades 24 hours a day – I know kids in middle school here at least are expected to be checking their PowerSchool, and it's their responsibility to know exactly what their grades are.
And I can tell you, having a middle schooler, it definitely creates some anxiety in her when she's not sure what her grade is yet and she's checking [PowerSchool] three and four times a night.”
Amanda Tracy: “There's a lot of pressure in going back to school. So whether that's grades and wanting to do well, for some of the older kids it’s getting ready to go to college, or wanting to perform well in school and sports… peer relationships and wanting to be perceived a certain way. And that can be kind of stressful going from summer and not having as much of a schedule, not seeing their peers as much, to all of a sudden having a very tight schedule and having a lot of structure and being around peers all the time.
[Kids and families] go from having downtime, maybe being able to hang out with some closer friends or hang out as a family, things like that, to jumping into the busy school year, and there's not going to be as much downtime together or as much close connection.”
Stress happens. But we can prepare ourselves and our children with understanding and tools so that we can see it coming, and know how to mitigate its often frustrating, negative effects.
Michele Caputo: “Having a schedule is really important. Managing screen time, sleep, and nutrition. All those things are super important to help manage the stress of back to school, but I think sometimes all those things all at once are really hard. I think just the main thing is if there's a point of connection every day between a caregiver and a child… whether that's a five minute conversation over breakfast or more of a lengthier… routine, just making sure that there is some point of connection.”
Amanda Tracy: “And I think along those lines another tip that's really important is helping kids understand that stress is inevitable. It's part of life, and there's a difference between good stress versus bad stress. Sometimes you feel stressed about a test that's coming up, and that stress motivates you to study to do well on the test… Whenever it starts to get kind of chronic and that stress is all you can think about – you can only think about the test, you can only think about the environment, you can only think about your peers – that's when it starts to get into that bad stress category. So, helping kids understand that there's good stress and there's bad stress, and it's important to learn how to navigate that stress.
I think that even just sitting down as a family and doing a reflection-check on last year and talking such as, ‘What points did you feel like there was just too much stress in your life and it was unmanageable or felt really overwhelming? Let's talk about that.’ And then you can proactively prepare for when you experience that stress again. Whether that's exploring coping skills, meditation, whatever that looks like.”
If you decide, as a student or as a family, that you need a little extra support steering through the natural turbulence of the school year, Cathedral Home and other organizations like it have programs and professionals ready to help.
Michele Caputo: We have an outpatient counseling program, and we work with a lot of kids and families in the community to help navigate anxiety. We also have a resource center, and we offer back to school support… and one-on-one sessions for family support and parenting classes.
And then we also have our Laramie Youth Crisis Center… and kids can go spend a few hours to a few nights there and get a little break from whatever problem or if there's a family crisis.
We also have our Albany County Expelled and Suspended Program. If a child in the community is suspended or expelled, instead of sitting home and not being able to get their schoolwork done, we offer a place at our Laramie Youth Crisis Center that they can work with a certified teacher.
Amanda Tracy: Something else that we're exploring and haven't gotten off the ground yet, but we're looking at launching is an anxiety group for school aged kids so that they can come and learn a little bit more about anxiety, learn a little bit more about stress, and just have a place to talk about their anxiety, their stress, and learn how to navigate it.
Another resource that kids and families have is a school counselor. If they feel like their stress is too overwhelming or they need someone to talk to, they can go talk to the school counselor (someone on the front lines in the school).
It’s a tough time of year, no doubt about it. No student or parent is alone in their stress and struggles. With the right support and patience, and with a little connection and understanding, this time of year can change from anxiety-ridden back to hope-filled.
